Activists: The husband may activate the game on his own, or husband and wife may activate it together.

Setting: Home.

Aim: Husband appeals to wife’s fantasy about meeting a prince who would discover that she is a princess.

Game Plan: One evening when he knows his wife “has no plans,” the husband arranges to come home a little late. He dresses up in a prince costume and knocks on the wife’s bedroom door. She may be just about to doze off.

“Excuse me. Are you Cinderella?”

“Cinderella?”

“Yes, Cinderella. The enchanting Cinderella. Because I’m Prince Charming, and I’m here to find out whether your foot fits into this glass slipper.” He dangles a glass slipper before her surprised eyes. “Ah, yes—I’ve been searching far and wide for the young woman who danced so beautifully at the Queen’s New Year’s Ball. I’ve knocked on a thousand doors and tried this slipper on a thousand left feet. Whoever can fit into this slipper will be my bride and live with me forever in my castle in northern New Jersey. Would you care to try it on?”

“Oh, I get it. I’m supposed to be Cinderella.”

“Aren’t you?”

“Well, actually, now that you mention it, I am Cinderella!” “I thought so.”

“Where would you like my foot?” “On this footstool would be fine.” “Certainly, Prince.”

*108/196/1*

Aim: Help husband overcome need for wife’s approval by learning to assert himself; stimulate wife’s sexuality by appealing to her unconscious fantasy.

Game Plan: The couple can play this game together, or the husband can spring it on his wife if he is sure she will respond appropriately. They can play it at home or during a vacation— say on a Caribbean island. (Being at a very different, perhaps even exotic, locale adds a bit more spice to the game.)

The husband dresses up in some kind of bandit’s costume, such as a cowboy outfit with a mask a la the Lone Ranger, or a pirate’s gear—again with a mask of some sort. Then, while his wife is lying in bed or sitting in the living room reading or watching TV, the husband breaks into the room. He stands before her silently, arms folded.

*83/196/1*

Aim: To enact the very fears that the passive spouse unconsciously harbors, and thereby shock him or her out of the passive mode.

Game Plan: This game is a more radical maneuver and thus entails more risk than most others. It is a take-off on the famous shower scene from Hitchcock’s Psycho. While the passive spouse is having his or her morning or evening shower, the aggressive spouse sneaks into the bathroom, wielding a toy knife—one of those knives made of soft rubber, plastic, or foam, which bends at impact. The aggressive spouse throws aside the shower curtain or door, glares at the showering spouse, and laughs maniacally.

“Die! Die! Die!” the “psycho” yells as he or she brings the rubber knife down onto the body of the passive spouse.

After the stunned victim has screamed with fright and stands gaping at the “psycho,” the latter stops suddenly and looks at the former coldly and calmly for about thirty seconds, tosses away the knife, grabs the victim, and plants a firm, passionate kiss on his or her mouth.

*58/196/1*

All except the most hardened and resistant wives will respond to such an evening. While the way to a man’s heart may be through his genitals, the way to a woman’s heart is through her head. Catering to her wishes, listening to her, and taking her seriously (even when she is being demanding) are what generally serve to seduce her. By the end of the evening, she will have been drawn out of her defensive posture of complaining, resisting, or being “too busy.” Her sexual passion will be revived, along with the beginnings of a new tenderness. In playing out this game, the husband will also have to relinquish his defensive posture of boredom or irritation—and his passion will also be rekindled.

Once they have revived their sexual passion and formed a new erotic bond, the couple will feel more secure about revealing their honest feelings about one another. The husband may now say, “You know, I was afraid to tell you before that I feel really irritated and shut out by your complaining and your distractedness [etc.].” “And I feel upset that you never listen to me and are always watching football,” the wife may say.

This game may be repeated as needed—if not in deed then in spirit. It should serve to shake things up and cause the couple to begin to look at themselves in a new way. They may also try the other games in this and other sections, as applicable.

*33/196/1*

Another way of putting this is that the more energy an individual expends on defense (resisting intimacy with others), the less one will become truly actualized as a human being and in harmony with others and with nature. Certainly, it is necessary to be defended in the everyday world. The trouble is that most people are much too defensive when they should not be, and not defensive enough when they should be. They are out of tune. Sexuality is nature’s way of helping humans retune themselves, to work through unnecessary resistances and the underlying pent-up feelings.

*8/196/1*

The cap and diaphragm are circular rubber domes. Caps are shaped like thimbles and fit over the cervix. Diaphragms, which look like rimmed caps, are larger. They fit over the cervix on one side and tuck under the pubic bone on the other. They are both used with spermicides, which are put inside the device before it is placed in the vagina. The diaphragm or cap may be placed in the vagina up to twenty-four hours prior to intercourse. However, if more than three hours elapse before intercourse, additional spermicide must be added. The device must be left in place for at least six hours after intercourse. If the couple wishes to have intercourse again during this time, the device must not be removed, but more spermicide must be put directly into the vagina. After use, the device is cleaned and stored for further use.

The sponge looks like a powder puff and contains a spermicide, which is released when the sponge is moistened. After moistening it, the woman places the sponge in the top of her vagina before having sex. The sponge must be left in place for at least six hours after intercourse to make sure all the sperm are dead. After use, the sponge is thrown away. Unfortunately, the sponge isn’t highly effective at preventing pregnancy, and therefore is not a recommended contraceptive method.

The female condom is a polyurethane bag with a ring at each end. The ring at the closed end of the bag fits inside the vagina and covers the cervix; the ring at the open end of the bag covers the vulva and prevents the condom from being pushed inside the vagina during intercourse. It is discarded after use. The female condom has been available only for a short time, so experts have not yet been able to assess how effective it is.

*85\95\2*

There are basically two types: the combined pill, which contains the hormones oestrogen and progestogen; and the mini-pill, which contains only progestogen. With most types, the woman takes one pill a day for twenty-one days and then has seven ‘off days. During these off days, no pill is taken and the woman has her period. Other types are taken every day, even during the period.

The pill provides protection against pregnancy even on the off days, but the whole series must be taken on schedule in order to work. Missing even one pill can lead to pregnancy.

*84\95\2*

Once you start getting more than three babies at a time, the chances of all the babies surviving are lower. Because there are so many of them, they’re smaller than average and they’re usually born prematurely; that is, before they’ve had a chance to develop fully. As far as we know, the largest number of babies born at one time is twelve, but not all of them survived; the largest number that ever lived was eight, or possibly nine.

We’re not sure of the exact number because it is always changing. Nowadays there are drugs, called fertility drugs, that doctors give to women who haven’t been able to get pregnant because they don’t ovulate. These drugs stimulate the ovary and cause the woman to ovulate. The problem is that they can stimulate the ovaries so much that the woman produces not one but several ripe ova at the same time. Newer and stronger drugs are constantly being developed. As a result, the number of babies born to a woman at any one time has been increasing. However, nowadays multiple births should not result from careful use of these drugs.

*82\95\2*

Usually a woman’s ovaries produce only one ripe ovum a month. Occasionally, though, a woman will produce two ripe ova at the same time. If both of these ova are fertilized and plant themselves in the lining of the uterus, the woman will have twins. Twins that grow from two separate ova, fertilized by two separate sperm, are called fraternal twins. One may be a boy and one a girl, or they both may be the same sex. They won’t necessarily look alike.

The other type of twins are called identical twins. Identical twins happen when the fertilized ovum splits into two shortly after fertilization. No one knows why this happens. Twins that come from the same ovum and sperm look almost exactly alike and are always the same sex.

When twins are born, one comes out first and the other comes out within a few minutes. In some cases it takes more than a few minutes for the second twin to be born; there have been times when it took a whole day. But, usually, twins are born within a few minutes of each other.

*81\95\2*